02Mar09

Here are some things about elevators I'd like to have cleared up:
Why starters always send a car up just as I am about to step in.
Why you have to face the front of the car instead of forming congenial groups in the rear.
Why my voice always breaks when I give my floor number.
Whether big buildings hire operators to fit uniforms, or buy uniforms to fit operators.
Why the big woman in the back always gets out on the mezzanine floor.
Whether you should leave the elevator quickly after your cigarette has burnied the the large man's gaberdine suit.
Whether I could run one of the things.



If you let a cat out of the bag never try to cram it back in again; it only makes matters worse.