Mrs. Green had recently acquired a dog and was proudly demonstrating his good points to a friend.

"I know he's not what you would call a pedigree dog," she said, "but no tramp or beggar can come near the house withou his letting us know about it."

"What does he do?" asked her friend, "Bark the house down?"

"No; he crawls under the sofa."

Wives are young men's mistresses, companions for middle age, and old men's nurses.

--Francis Bacon