Henry Brown arrived late at the country club dance, and discovered that in slipping on the icy pavement outside, he had torn one knee of his trousers.

"Come into the ladies' dressing room, Henry," said his wife. "There's no one there and I'll pin it up for you.

Examination showed that the rip was too large to be pinned. A maid furnished needle and thread and was stationed at the door to keep out intruders, while Mr. Brown removed his trousers. His wife went busily to work.

Presently at the door sounded excited voices.

"We must come in, maid," a woman was saying. "Mrs. Jones is ill. Quick, let us in."

"Here," said the resourceful Mrs. Brown to her terrified husband, "get into this closet for a minute."

She opened the dooor and pushed her husband through it just in time. But instantly, from the opposite side of the door, came loud thumps and the agonized voice of Mr. Brown demanding that his wife open it at once.

"But the women are here," Mrs. Brown objected.

"Oh, damn the women!" yelled Mr. Brown. "I'm out in the ballroom."

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow ye diet.

------William Gilmore Beymer