His wife asked him to copy a radio recipe. He did his best, but got two stations at once. And this is what he wrote down.

"Hands on hips, place one cup of flour on your shoulder, raise knees and depress toes; mix thoroughly in one-half cup of milk, repeat six times. Inhale quickly one half teaspoon of baking powder lower the legs and mash two hard boiled eggs in a sieve; exhale breath naturally and sift in a bowl. Attention! Lie flat on the floor and roll in the whites of two eggs backward and forward until it comes to a boil. In ten minutes remove from fire and rub smartly with a rough towel. Breathe naturally, dress in warm flannels and serve with tomato soup."

The man who enters his wife's dressing room is either a philosopher or a fool

-----Balzac