09Sep09

It was an opening appearance of the Philadelphia Symphony Orchestra, with Stowoski at his most majestic. The music was crashing and thunderous, when suddenly there fell an adrupt and complete silence, beginning a brief but absolute rest in the music.
Out of the stilly night there came a high-pitched feminine voice, full of reproach. "But," it said, "I always fry mine in lard."

1901, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec dies.

1941, Beginning of the Leningrad siege, an important strategy for Wehrmacht

1949, Richard Strauss dies.

1951, Michael Keaton is born.

1960, Hugh Grant is born.

1965 Arthur Ashe Jr. wins the first US Open Tennis Championship.

Quote for the day:
You can't keep a good golfer downtown.

08Sep09

"Did you visit the art galleries when you were in New York."
"We did'nt need to. Our daughter paints."

1925, Peter Sellers is born.

1930, Accidental discovery of the planet Pluto following miscalculation. These calculations, which later turned out to be erroneous, gave way to the conclusion that there was a planet beyond Neptune, based on the motions of Uranus and Neptune. Unaware of the error, Clyde W. Tombaught at Lowell Observatory in Arizona did a very careful sky survey which turned up Pluto anyway.

Quote for the day:
The tragedy of the flea is that he knows for a certainty that all of his children will go to the dogs.

07Sep09

Patron---Do you ever draw pictures in the nude?
Artist---No, I usually wear a smoking jacket.

1921, A "bathing beauty" pageant is held in Atlantic City N.J. an event that would soon be known as the Miss American Pageant. With the invention the year before of the Jantzen elasticised one piece bating suit, more comfortable and revealing swimwear was becoming popular. Though not the first bathing beauty contest, this event was the first to feature women in skintight suits with knees exposed. Reporters and photographers played up the event with sensational coverage, and it was the impetus for the swimsuit show craze of the twenties. Miss Washington Margaret Gorman, was judged the finest specimen of womanhood.

Quote for the day:
An actor believes that a small role is better than a long loaf.

06Sep09

A rich but ignorant Englishman once went to the famous painter Turner and ordered a painting. When it was finished he refused to pay aht price that the painter demanded.
"What," he said, "all that money for a square yard of canvas and a little paint!"
"Oh, replied Turner, "If it's just paint and canvas that you want, here's a half-used tube, and over in the corner you will find some canvas. I won't charge you much for them."

1901, Assassination of American President McKinley, who is succeeded by Theodore Roosevelt.

1952, The contraceptive pill is introduced onto the market.

1983, A Soviet MIG shoots down a Korean Boeing 747 with 269 passengers on board, 61 on which were American.

Quote for the day:
Dramatic-critics' motto: The flag's the thing!

05Sep09

First Man (in art museum)---"Hello! Here's the Mona Lisa."
Second Man---"Aw, cone on! That dame's smile reminds me of my wife's when she thinks I'm lying."

1905, Unveiling of the painting "Les Grandes Baigneuses" (The Bathers) by Cezanne

1940, Raquel Welch is born.

1960, Leopold Sedar Senghor elected president of Senegal.

1995, The French resume nuclear testing in South Pacific.

Quote for the day:
Love makes a man think almost as much of a girl as he thinks of himself.

04Sep09

She---"I hear you are a great artist."
He---"I hope to be. I've only just started."
She---"What are you doing?"
He---"Well, I'm living in a studio and growing whiskers."

1951, First color television in the US.

1958, William O'Ree 1st black hockey player in the NHL (Boston Bruins)

1970, In Chile, Salvador Allende wins the presidential elections.

1984, In Canada, Brian Mulroney (Tory) is elected. His electoral promise is to reintegrate Quebec into the Canadian family "with honor and enthusiasm."

Quote for the day:
If a husband talks in his sleep, and still gives no secrets away, it's a triumph of mind over mutter.

03Sep09

Photographer---"Please look pleasant, lady, and in a few moments you may resume your natural expression."

1939, France and England declare war on Germany.

1941, First experimental use of gas chambers at Auschwitz.

1965, Charlie Sheen is born.

1969, Ho Chi Minh, President of North Vietnam dies.

Quote for the day:
A young woman called a policeman because a man tried to flirt with her. Lucky chap. She might have called a clergyman.

02Sep09

Mrs. Newrich---"And the portrait will be real pretty?"
Artist---"Of course. You won't know yourself."

1905, During bloody confrontations between Armenians and Tatars in Baku, more than one thousand people are killed.

1964, Keanu Reeves is born.

1978, Gloria Estefan weds Emilio Estevez Jr.

1988, Michael Jordan weds Juanita Vanoy Jordan

01Sep09

"Is this a icture of you?"
"Yes, That's me"
"That's bad grammar."
"I know it. It's bad picture, too."

1920, Lebanon is granted special autonomous status, detaching it from Turkey (Sevres Treaty signed August 10)

1923, Tokyo and Yokohama, Japan destroyed by 8.3 magnitude earthquake; 200,000 killed.

1939, Beginning of the Second World War; Germany invades Poland.

1941, In Germany, a decree orders Jews to wear a yellow star.

Quote for the day:
The chief difference between the movies and real life is that in the movies they are married at the dend of all their difficulties.

31Aug09

There was a wealthy amateur who prided himself on his skill in landscape painting, although his canvases were really little more than daubs.
Once he invited a couple of critics to look at his pictures. One of the visitors paused in front of the pictures. "Here's one you ought to call 'Home'," he said.
"Why?" asked the painter.
"Because there's no place like it," said the critic.

1928, James Coburn is born.

1997, Princess Diana dies in a tragic car accident in Paris.

Quote for the day:
Women take to good hearted men. Also from.

30Aug09

A painter of the "impressionist" school is now confined in a lunatic asylum. To all persons who visit hem he says, "Look here; this is the latest masterpiece of my composition." They look, and see nothing but an expanse of bare canvas. They ask, "What does that represent?"
"That? Why that represents the passage of the Jews through the Red Sea"
"Beg pardon, but where is the sea?"
"It has been driven back."
"And where are the Jesw?"
"They have crossed over."
"And the Egyptians?"
"Will be here soon. That's the sort of painting I like; simple, suggestive, and unpretentious."

1927, Premier of the renown movies, Sunrise, by German director F.W. Murnau.

1963, The White House and the Kremlin establish the Hot Line consisting of a direct contact between the two capitals.

1972, Cameron Diaz is born.

Quote for the day:
A kiss is a peculiar proposition. Of no use to one, yet absolute bliss to two. T small boy gets it for nothing, the young man has to lie for it, and the old man has to buy it; the baby's right, the lover's privilege, and the hypocrites mark. To a young girl, faith; to a married woman, hope; and to an old maid, charity.

29Aug09

An artist famous for painting animals was motoring through Iowa, when he saw a very animated looking bull. Thinking he would like to take him on canvas, he got permission of the owner. In due time he produced an excellent likeness of the bull, which he sold for five hundred dollars. On seeing the farmer a year later, he told him he had sold the picture of his bull for five hundred dollars.
"Good Lord!" exclaimed the old farmer, "why I would have sold two real bulls for less than that one imitation of yours.

1915, Ingrid Bergman is born.

1949, Richard Gere is born.

1958, Michael Jackson is born.

1982, Ingrid Bergman dies.

Quote for the day:
Life is just one fool thing after another; love is just two fool things after each other.

28Aug09

A well-known Royal Academician who noticed a drawing of a fish by a pavement-artist asked the man what sort of fish it was supposed to be.
"A shark, sir!"
"But you've never seen a shark," said the RA
"That's true sir," the man agreed: "but, then, don't some of those Academy chaps paint angels?"

1949, Soviets detonate their first atom bomb.

1963, Martin Luther King reads his famous speech I Have A Dream.

1972, Mark Spitz-US swimmer, 1st athlete to win 7 Olympic gold medals.

Quote for the day.
Before marriage a man yearns for a woman, After marriage the "y" is silent.

27Aug09

Art Editor---"Now, what we need for our next magazine cover is a girl wearing one of those religious gowns."
Artist---"What do you mean, a religious gown?"
Art Editor---"Oh, you know, one of these lo and behold."

1928, The Briand-Kellogg peace pact a universal renunciation of war-is signed by 65 nations, including the United States, in Paris

1990, Gorbatchev receives the Nobel Peace Prize for his reforms in the USSR.

Quote for the day:
The chemical constituents of a man are said to be worth 98 cents. Ppssibly it is that price which causes some woman to run after them.

26Aug09

Artist---"Whatever success I have had, I owe it all to the telephone.'
Friend---"How's that!"
Artist---"Well, while I was waiting for them to give me the right number I practiced drawing on a pad."

1920, Womens' Suffrage victorius. The 19th Amendment to the US Constitution adopted (it was ratified on Aug. 19), allowing women the right to vote.

1972, Opening of the XX Summer Olympic Games in Munich. These Games will witness the Assassination of 11 Israeli athletes (September 4) by a Palestinian terrorist Commando.

1980, Tex Avery dies.

Quote for the day:
A lawyer says that a dangerous year in married life is the first. Then follows the second, third, fourth, fifth and so on.

25Aug08

"Why did they hang that picture?"
"Perhaps they couldn't find the artist."

1900, German philosopher Friedrich Nietsche dies in Weimar.

1930, Sean Connery is born.

1944, Liberation of Paris.

1960. Opening of the XVII Summer Olympic Games in Rome.

1975, Premiere of the movie Jaws by Steven Spielberg.

Quote for the day:
One marriage in every six ends in divorce, but the other five couples fight it out to the bitter end.

24Aug09

"Do you make life-size enlargements of snapshots?"
"That's our specialty."
"Fine, here's a picture I took of the Grand Canyon."

1922, Albert Einstein receives the Nobel Prize for Physics.

1950, Antihistamines are used against the cold for the first time.

1989, In Columbia narcotics dealers declare "total war" on authorities.

1995, Windows 95 is released.

Quote for the day:
If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.

23Aug09

Peck---"Do you think you can make a good portrait of my wife?"
Artist---"My friend, I can make it so lifelike you'll jump every time you see it."

1926, Rudolph Valention, The Sheik cinema heart-throb and tabloid fave, dies of a perforated ulcer at age 31.

1927, Immigrant anarchists Nicola Sacco and Bartolomeo Vanzetti executed, In 1920, paymaster and his guard were carrying a factory payroll of $15,776. Two men standing by a fence suddenly pulled out guns and fired on them. Two Italians, N. Sacco and B.Vanzetti, fell into a police trap that had been set for a suspect in the Braintree crime, and would become one of the legendary political cases of the 20th century in the US.

Quote for the day:
Don't take too much interest in the affairs of your neighbors. Six per cent will do.

22Aug09

Whistler once undertook to get a fellow artist's work into the autumn salon. He succeeded, and the picture was hung. But the painter, going to see his masterpiece with Whistler on varnishing day, uttered an exclamation of dismay.
"Good Heavens!" he cried, "you're exhibiting my picture upside down."
"Hush!" said Whistler. "The committee refused it the other way."

1905, German physicist Albert Einstein publishes his theory of relativity in the Annals of Physics and thus revolutionizes modern science.

1911, The Mona Lisa is stolen from the Louvre where it had been housed since 1804.

1949, Publication of George Orwell's novel 1984.

1973, Henry Kissinger, 1st Jewish US Secretary of State. He was also the 1st naturalized citizen to hold this office.

Quote for the day:
If you are in doubt whether to kiss a pretty girl, give her the benefit of the doubt.

21Aug09

Visitor (to butler who is showing him through the picture gallery)---"That's a fine portrait! Is it an old master?"
Butler---"No, that's the old missus."

1944, Wernher von Braun develops the V-2 rocket; the first Jet plane becomes operational.

1950, In his encyclical Humani Generis, Pie XII warns Christians against certain philosophical doctrines, especially existentialism.

1959, Hawaii becomes the 50th State.

Quote for the day:
What the girls say--A thing of beauty is a boy forever.