05Jun11

A man hurried into a quick lunch restaurant and said: “Give me a ham sandwich.”
“Yes, sir,” said the waiter, reaching for the sandwich; “will you eat it or take it with you?”
“Both,” was the unexpected but obvious reply.

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On this day in 1947, Marshall plan to restore a war-decimated Europe comes into effect.
1963. Alexander Douglas-Home becomes British Prime Minister.
1975. Start of civil war in Lebanon.

To a recently arrived immigrant the processes of law and order were baffling. He had the misfortune to be arrested for peddling without a license. Now he stood before the bar of justice with three young ladies arrested for soliciting. When the first young lady gave her profession as “actress” the judge sentenced her to thirty days in the workhouse. When the second said she was a “model” she drew a sixty-day sentence. “And what do you do for a living?” the judge fired at the third girl.
“To tell you the truth, your honor,” she answered. “I’m a prostitute.”
Taken aback by this burst of frankness the judge said, “Honesty has become such a rare commodity in these parts that for telling the truth I’m suspending sentence. You are free to go.” Then he turned to the peddler, his face hardened. “And what do you do for a living?”
“To tell you the truth, judge,” he replied, “I’m a prostitute also.”

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Here is another story about Abraham Lincoln past President of the United States

In the early part of the year 1865, when Joe Johnson had reached
Raleigh with his army, fears were entertained lest he might
suddenly join Lee, and the two crush Grant. The Congressman
then representing the Springfield Ill. district called upon
President Lincoln, when the following conversation ensued:
CONGRESSMAN-"They are becoming anxious, some of them in the House,
about the situation. Have you received anything later? Aren't
you afraid Grant is making a mistake in not moving?"
THE PRESIDENT- "Do you remember that Baptist revival in Springfield,
in such a year?"
CONGRESSMAN- "I do not recall it."
THE PRESIDENT- "Well, Bill, a hardened sinner, was converted.
Upon an appointed day the minister baptized the converts in a
small stream. After Bill had been plunged under once, he asked
the preacher to baptize him again; the latter replied it was
unnecessary. Bill, however, urged the matter, and he was
accordingly put under for the second time. As he came up, he again
asked, as a particular favor, that he might be baptized just
once more. The minister, a little angered, answered that he
had already been under once more than the other converts. Still
Bill pleaded, and the preacher put him under for the third time.
As Bill came up puffing and blowing, he shook the water from his
hair and exclaimed: "There! I'll be blowed if the devil can get
hold of me now.'" The President continued, "General Grant is
very much like Bill. He is determined on making sure of the thing,
and will not move until he has."